I'm afraid becoming a man is going to turn me into a dick.

 Today, on Facebook, this guy picked a fight with me. I apologized profusely for having offended him in any way, but he refused to back down, so I blocked him. It's just Facebook, right? But here's the thing. What do I do in real life, if something like that happens with a cis het dude? I don't want to become ulra-masciuline to fit into a man's world, but I don't want to be a pushover, either. I can't just "block" someone in real life. I may have to engage in some unpleasantness that some men choose to solve by being physically violent, and I wouldn't know what to do in that situation. I wouldn't call myself a pacifist, but I don't know the first thing about how to defend myself. Maybe I should learn.

Is it weird that I am feeling more vulnerable now, as a transgender man, than I ever did as a woman? There's this whole mysterious "bro code" with cis het men that I'm going to have to learn, not because I want to be like them, but because I want to stay out of trouble. I don't want to inadvertently start trouble. 

Realistically, though? I'm probably not going to get alont well with cis het men other than the ones I already know as friends, and I can count them on one hand. It's a good thing I'm a big guy, because I might get my ass kicked for being trans or for some other reason, or worse, talked about behind my back, and made a pariah, like I was back in high school.

Anyway, I have to go, so I will revisit this later.