![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
The word "MAN"
Mar. 4th, 2019 06:37 pmI can think of myself a guy, or transmasculine. I can think of myself as a boi, or a boy, or male, or just trans. But, for me, "MAN" is just such a loaded word, and it shouldn't be. I'm 41 years old FFS. I am not a "boy." I feel like I have a lot of unpacking to do around the word "MAN" and what it means to me. Negative connotations seem to stick to it. Maybe I feel that if I don't call myself a "MAN" I am not going to contribute to toxic masculinity. Have any other FtMs ever had weird feelings about words describing the male gender?
I am a feminist. Maybe it's all because MEN have been oppressors for so long, and even though I feel male inside, I don't want to contribute to the stereotypes. I'm never going to be a "manly man" or a "dudebro" or any of that stuff. I'm just me. I didn't grow up with the pressure that men have to be, well, MEN, and I actually think that's kind of a good thing. Transition is sort of like getting to grow up again, only this time, you know stuff. But I'm getting off on a tangent.
I know I'm transmasculine. I know I must transition. But I have the hardest time saying "I am a man." Maybe I should, though, because I can stand up and say "i am a man" and be a new kind of man who isn't toxic. Maybe that's why I've been tasked with this journey by the powers that be.
In other news, my mother and I are fine talking about anything other than "it", and I've emailed her a pamphlet specifically about parents finding out their adult children are trans. I hope she reads it and realizes she's not alone.
I am a feminist. Maybe it's all because MEN have been oppressors for so long, and even though I feel male inside, I don't want to contribute to the stereotypes. I'm never going to be a "manly man" or a "dudebro" or any of that stuff. I'm just me. I didn't grow up with the pressure that men have to be, well, MEN, and I actually think that's kind of a good thing. Transition is sort of like getting to grow up again, only this time, you know stuff. But I'm getting off on a tangent.
I know I'm transmasculine. I know I must transition. But I have the hardest time saying "I am a man." Maybe I should, though, because I can stand up and say "i am a man" and be a new kind of man who isn't toxic. Maybe that's why I've been tasked with this journey by the powers that be.
In other news, my mother and I are fine talking about anything other than "it", and I've emailed her a pamphlet specifically about parents finding out their adult children are trans. I hope she reads it and realizes she's not alone.
